What should I do with my life if not die?

First of all there is truly no painless way to kill yourself. If you succeed, you will leave behind family and friends who will never get over the loss. Life sometimes isnt fair, nor easy. I have suffered from mental illness so i know what I ma talking about. I know what it's like to feel worthless, or to even want to die. Yes I have failed suicide attempts. I thank God for it, I have grown-up and moved on with my life. I am now married and have a child. Life is what you make of it. If you have been feeling this way for a while. You need to tell your parents. You also need to seek medical advice. There are medications that can help control somewhat of your thought process. Life will get better, and there is help. You have to seek it. Dont ume that everyone knows what you are feeling, or whats even going on in your head. Good luck!!